WhimsyLand

Junie made me promise to stop working 14/7 on this damnable audio slowdown algorithm.  I decided last week to do all my Christmas stuff in one day.  Saturday, I got up at 4 AM and got all the e-Presents out of the way.  I found these cool Javanese drums for two of my siblings.  I ran to the 24-hour Walmart to find more wrapping paper, even though I ended up getting most of the good stuff later at Target.  I found boxes and prepared FedEx stickers and had some breakfast.  At this point, everything was open and I hit the stores.  My list included baby toys, as my 3 nieces/nephews all have small children.  I found these excellent furry action figures that sang Christmas carols in their native tongue when you pressed on their tummy.  The duckling actually does most of Jingle Bells in quacks.  I decided not to drag out my giant tree and opted for a new 2-foot variety that fits on the end table next to the OED.  It's just the size to put Junie's gifts, which are all really small.  Mom and Dad got one of those picture frames that rotate among images loaded from a USB stick or WiFi, complements of Best Buy.  By the by, I'm not worried about telling you this because my family never reads my blog, no matter how many times I give them the URL.  By noon, I had a whole car full of gifts, wrapping paraphernalia and Christmas decorations.  It was time to wrap to Windham Hill's December.  Two hours and a lot of gold foil, ribbon and bows later, I was done.  Mind you, I wasn't drinking wine yet.  Next came the corporate Xmas cards.  I had bought some dandy serious-but-fanciful cards that I could write something on, stick in my biz card, and send to my best clients.  I also had bought some funny Xmas cards (picture reindeer with bumper stickers) that I sent to friends and family.  I had cards+cash to integrate and place in the two Main Boxes that were destined for the NoCal Clan and SoCal Clan, who are having separate but equal Christmas celebrations this year.  The cards+cash were actually Xmas cards with a note and an American Express gift card.  I figured, why would you get someone a Starbucks gift certificate when you can get them Amex or Visa and they can get what they want?  These, of course, were for my nieces/nephews in the 18-to-25 year range, an age occupied by people who can always use money or its surrogate.  My older nieces/nephews in the NoCal contingent, plus my sister Lin opted to have me lump all the present money in a check to Lin, who would buy presents for the children of a family they know and help.  That's so Linda and Roy, actually, who have this ranchette in Central CA and a half-dozen horses.  But, I digress.  I still had to box everything up, slap on the FedEx Ground sticker on the two gift megashipments, and relax with a glass of wine.  It was something like 8 PM at this point, and everything was done:  Christmas ornamentation was complete, holiday cards were out, gifts for 20+ people were done, corporate clients were bribed rewarded for their loyalty, shipments were ready for the FedEx guy, and I still had time to make dinner.  By this time, I was listening to the new Norah Jones CD.  I opted for whole wheat spaghetti with a sauce of artichokes, capers, garlic, asparagus, red pepper, green onions, fresh tomatoes, and herbs.  Also Clos du Bois Chardonnay.  Heck, I deserved it.