TFR News
The Futility Review, led
by our marketing director, Hannah "Montana" Craig, is planning its fall line of
branded merchandise, and we're not stopping at t-shirts and coffee mugs.
Currently on the drawing board is a scale model of the Titanic, nicely
PhotoShopped with our trademark Copperplate Gothic Bold logo. Tricia
"Queen of the Weird" Lockwood has taken time off from her review of The
Collected Ghazals of Ogden Nash to lend a hand with our product plans and
submitted a few sketches of tasteful chastity belts. Claudia "Die Cloud"
Grinnell is putting her heritage (and killer accent, you should here her on the
phone, it's like Marlena Dietrich with a little honey on her breath) to use,
working her way through major German poets, rejecting works links und recht.
Ally "Oops" Meath is "accidentally" rejecting every member of the current
slush pile with nice notes and "Try us again" teasers.
Newly rejected poets in
back issues include the following unwitting victims:
| Stephen Burt Joshua Corey Suzanne Frischkorn Jeanine Hall Gailey Gabriel Gudding Paul Hoover Rebecca Loudon Joseph Massey Jonathan Mayhew Aimee Nezhukumatathil Anthony Robinson Reginald Sheppard Matthew Shindell Alli Warren Jake Adam York Tim Yu Ivy Alvarez Molly Arden Kelli Russell Agodon Sandra Beasley Jim Behrle Victoria Chang Shanna Compton Eduardo Corral Lara Glenum Kirsten Kaschock Sabrina Orah Mark Daniel Nester Peter Preira Laurel Snyder Heidi Lynn Staples Rebecca Wolff Thomas Basbøll Anne Carson Catherine Daly Geri Doran Jilly Dybka Carolyn Forché Henry Gould Noah Eli Gordon Jennifer Michael Hecht Bill Knott RJ McCaffery Ange Mlinko Harryette Mullen Lucia Perillo Stephen Schroeder Maureen Thorson Quan Barry Cal Bedient |
Daisy Fried Drew Gardner H. L. Hix Garrett Hongo Dana Levin Linda Pastan Mary Ruefle Vijay Seshadri Susan Stewart Virgil Suárez Dara Wier Charles Harper Webb Franz Wright William Allegrezza Nin Andrews Jasper Bernes Kristy Bowen Mairead Byrne Michael Collier Stuart Dybek Martín Espada Beth Ann Fennelly Sam Hamill Janet Holmes Lisa Jarnot Carol Muske-Dukes Cate Marvin Suzanne Nixon Jacqueline Osherow Greg Perry Paisley Rekdal Kim Addonizio Oni Buchanan Denise Duhamel Arielle Greenberg Terrence Hayes Laura Kasischke John Koethe Didi Menendez Joyelle McSweeney Nick Piombino Barbara Jane Reyes Dale Smith Gary Sullivan A. D. Thomas Matthew Thorburn Craig Teicher Amy Unsworth Chris Vitiello Olena Katyiak Davis |
Hah! And you thought nobody ever rejected Virgil Suárez.
Comments
Tee-hee!
Posted by: Ivy | October 10, 2007 02:52 AM
Wow! That rejection took a lot less work than usual.
Futility Review = hi-larious.
Posted by: Jeannine Hall Gailey | October 10, 2007 07:36 AM
I immediately wrote to my mom about my rejection!
Posted by: Rebecca Loudon | October 10, 2007 08:15 AM
I reject your rejection, Futility Review. Your rejection is futile. You tell "Montana" Craig that I have a sonnet crown out there with her name on it. And not this fake name. Her *real* name, the one that rhymes with "Betelgeuse," the one that sets all the feral cats of Hyderabad to howling, in the darkest dark of the Deccan night.
Posted by: Eli | October 10, 2007 09:38 AM
you were certainly right to reject me!
Posted by: shanna | October 10, 2007 01:49 PM
Truly an honor to be rejected in such company, Anaxamander.
Posted by: ADT | October 10, 2007 02:49 PM
So this is what happens to the submissions you forget about? I'm glad you rejected me. Shows some taste.
Posted by: Jake Adam York | October 10, 2007 09:45 PM
That Virgil Suárez comment is freakin' hilarious. I think it might be against the law to reject him, have you looked into it closely?
Posted by: Kelly in Nebraska | October 15, 2007 07:41 PM