WhimsyLand

There's an old joke that I heard first in the 60's:  How can you tell when Nixon is lying?  Hint:  He's not lying in this picture.  There was another joke that got recycled for at least two subsequent presidents:  The head of the Secret Service walks into the Oval Office and informs President Nixon that they have found "Nixon is a crook" written in pee on the White House lawn snow.  "It appears, from a chemical analysis, that it's Henry Kissinger's urine," the Secret Service agent says.  "Oh, goodness," Nixon replies.  "What's worse", continues the agent, "is that it appears to be Pat's handwriting".

This month's Atlantic leads off with "Why Presidents Lie".  There are a variety of motivations and excuses for Presidential lying, from political expediency to national security.  The short answer, however, is "because they can."  Niall Ferguson opines that "The Middle East looks like Europe circa WW I", and that far from the NeoCon dream that democracy brings stability, it maybe that democracy and economic insecurity will bring first civil war, and then regional conflict.  Calendar highlights some key dates in the next two months:  A somewhat mellowed Daniel Ortega became President of Nicaragua again on the10th.  Saddam Hussein may hang this month (clearly, they have long lead-times on each issue).  Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, turns 65 on Feb 16th.  Presidential dollar coins that finally have God-fearing white males on them, not meddling woman and Injuns, go on sale Feb. 15th.  From The Ashtray of History:  In 1624, Pople Urban VIII issued a worldwide smoking ban because it prompts sneezing, which resembles sexual ecstasy.  In 1646, The General Court of Massachusetts ruled to prohibit tobacco smoking except when on a journey at least 5 miles from any town.  The Rancor Dividend explains that divided governments (i.e., different parties in control of the legislative and executive branches) tend to adopt better fiscal policies, which leads to smaller deficits.  In Closing the God Gap, a pair of Democratic strategists help candidates talk about their faith (yawn).  Studies show that American males who drank heavily while 10th graders in 1990 earn more now than others.  The number of reported gay couples in America grew by 30% between 2000 and 2005.  Social scientists claim that not only do tall people succeed in life disproportionately because of dominance factors, they're also smarter on average.  Good interview with Chief Justice John Roberts, who seems almost impossible to dislike.  The food section details all the ways you can make rice pudding.  (rice pudding?)  The poets this month are Grace Schulman and Elizabeth Spires.

The Spanish have fresh Manchego and aged Manchego and dry Manchego and semi-dry Manchego and everything in between.  They joke that every time a French cheesemaker makes a mistake in a batch, it gets a new name.  The back cover of Cook's Illustrated pictures ten different mistakes, including Roquefort, Morbier, Epoisses, St. Agur, and Crottin de Champcol.  Editor Christopher Campbell starts off the issue, as usual, with enough folksy Vermont stories that it makes you yearn for the understated urbanity of Garrison Keillor.  Notes from Readers includes:  Keep ginger dry to prevent mold.  The bad news is that unsaturated fats (the good kind) break down more quickly into strong, rancid-smelling peroxides and aldehydes than do saturated fats (the bad kind).  Store whole coffee beans or pre-ground coffee in the freezer, out of the light (who's got a light in their freezer?)  Somebody FINALLY asks what the hell "fat-free half-and-half" is.  From Quick Tips:  To find the start of that pesky SaranWrap roll, stroke it with a toothbrush.  Hot cookie pans can be pulled from the oven best with a pair of pliers.  Wipe vegetable oil on your hands to avoid beet stains (but, I like beet stains).  Parmesan-Crusted Chicken Cutlets are best made with a crust combining both grated and shredded cheese.  Good recipe for Olive-Rosemary Bread, but everybody knows I can't bake worth a damn.  Hearty Garlic-Potato soup employs a mixture of russet and red potatoes, plus leek, pressed garlic, butter and heavy cream (of course, you could serve yak urine, if you mixed in enough butter, garlic and heavy cream).  Potato Rösti, just like Kurt's wife used to make when I visited Zurich (think:  the best hash browns you ever ate).  Some handy facts from Bread Baking Demystified: All-purpose flour is as good as bread flour, in most cases.  Salt is essential.  Kneading with a standing mixer is better than hand-kneading.  You can vastly improve home-made tomato sauce in the winter by pre-roasting taste-challenged out-of-season tomatoes and adding a little tomato paste.  Pan-Roasted Asparagus with Red Peppers, Pine Nuts and Goat Cheese.  Yum.  I have no interest whatsoever in The Ultimate Lemon Layer Cake.  Although the $14 Lucini Gran Reserva Balsamico takes top prize, the $3.99 Monari Federzoni Balsamic Vinegar of Modena is close behind.  The Victorinox Fibrox 8-inch Chef's Knife at $22.95 rates equal to the Glestain Indented-Blade 8.2-inch Gyutou at $210.  I want a Microplane rasp grater.

Science Quote of The Day:  "Marsupial lions, kangaroos as tall as trucks and wombats the size of a rhinoceros roamed Australia's outback.  Australian megafauna could take all that nature could throw at them for half-a-million years, without succumbing. . . It was only when people arrived that they vanished."