Silkie
There
are billions of galaxies with billions of stars in each. But they only
make up 5% of the mass of the universe. The rest is dark energy and dark
matter, the latter of which we have
direct
evidence of. What is dark matter? We don't know, but it may be a
new collection of elementary particles, so far unobserved. Is it all
around us? Probably. What is dark energy? We know even less.
Who first hypothesized the existence of dark matter?
Vera Rubin, a young
astronomer who was rejected by Princeton in 1948 because women were not permitted
in the graduate astronomy program. I bet they feel really silly now.
Poor Pluto is no
longer a planet. It is still, however, Mickey's dog. And what's
up with a talking mouse having a non-talking dog for a pet. And a
talking dog for a friend? Where's the
plot consistency?
We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And perhaps all the
politicians and security consultants who profit from our paranoia. Junie
sent me this
article
which, among other things, points out the improbability that TATP could have
been successfully made on airplanes by the recent UK terrorists.
Here's some really great news. After a lengthy and angst-filled period of
manuscript judging by those of us on the committee, Many Mountains Moving is
pleased to announce the winner of the 2006 Poetry Book Contest: Ann
e-Marie Cusac for Silkie.
The Runner-up was Cynthia Arrieu-King for
People are Tiny in Paintings of China. Veronica Patterson was awarded
an Honorable Mention for Close. Finalists included Sheila Black, Lisa Lewis, and Renato Rosaldo. Details on the contest and complete list of semi-finalists
can be found
here.
Please note that MMM is also currently sponsoring Poetry and Flash Fiction
contests.
~~~~
And NOW, a sampling from the Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book!
The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.
¤ Veni, Vidi, Velcro
— I came, I saw, I stuck around. ¤ All
those ballerinas on their tiptoes ... why don't they just get taller girls?
¤ Why do they put Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATMs? ¤
Did you hear about Ford recalling a bunch of Mercurys because they found traces
of tuna in them? ¤ Why do they call it tourist season if we can't
shoot them? ¤ If you eat pasta and antipasta, are you still hungry?
How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 10, one to screw it
in and 9 to say "I could have done that". ¤ How many pro-lifers?
6, two to screw it in and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they
began screwing. ¤ How many surrealists? 2, one to hold the giraffe
and one to put the clocks in the bathtub. ¤ How many Republicans?
86, twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old
lightbulb, twenty-three to deregulate the lightbulb industry, and fifty-two to
pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.
Knock knock. Who's there? Control freak. Now you say, "Control
freak who?" ¤ Did you hear about that new restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but there's no atmosphere. ¤ What do
Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same
middle name. ¤ Sven and Ole went hunting and Sven
accidently shot Ole. "Ole, I'm so sorry!," Sven said and rushed him to the
hospital. "Is he going to be OK?", Sven asked. The doctor said, "His
prospects would be better if you hadn't gutted him". ¤ Why do
Baptists object to fornication? They're afraid it might lead to dancing.
¤ This skeleton walks into a bar and says "Give me a beer and a mop".
¤ René Descartes walks into a bar and sits on the closest stool.
The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. "I think not", he says and
promptly disappears. ¤ Did
you hear about the guy who had sex with his canary? Now he's got an
untweetable case of chirpies. ¤ The CIA, FBI and NYPD are competing
to see who is best at apprehending criminals. A rabbit is released in the
forest and each organization has to try to bring it in first. The CIA
places animal informants throughout the woods and hidden microphones in the
tree, but after 3 months concludes that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes
in. After 2 weeks with no leads, they burn the forest and kill everything
in it. The NYPD goes in. Two hours later a cop comes out holding a
badly beaten bear by the ear. The bear is yelling "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit".