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August 31, 2006

Hurricane Bob

Well, they got it back.  Everyone calls the work by Edvar Munch "The Scream", but of course it's real name is Norwegian (Skrike).  As a translated word is seldom exactly the same word as the original (same cultural context, same emotive value, ...) , I wonder if "Scream" is the best or only alternative.  TriTrans says skrike can be translated as clamour, cry, shout, squall or yell, for example.  Anyway, they caught the gunmen who waltzed into the museum and ripped it off the wall, but had not yet recovered the actual painting until yesterday.  The convicted men were ordered to pay $122 million in damages.  That's going to be a little hard to raise while in prison.

I was getting to like the new batch of Hurricane/Himmicane names:  Yolanda, Sergio, Zeke, Fabio.  Then along came John.  John?  What's next?  Bruce? Bob? Reginald?  Jim?

The world-class clusterf*ck that is the JonBenet affair continues.  In case you've been off the planet for the past 10 years, this is the most sensationalized murder case since the Black Dahlia, and once again, they have no suspects now that John Karr has been let off the hook.  In a cheap shot that we expect in this election year, Colorado Republican Governor Bill Owens has stated that Boulder District Attorney Mary Lacy "should be held accountable for the most extravagant and expensive DNA test in Colorado history" and Lacy has been getting criticized for causing Karr to be arrested and transported to the US for DNA testing (which he passed).  Here you have a guy who apparently knew details about the murder scene that only the medical examiner and an inner circle of law enforcement knew, faces charges of child pornography in California, expressed sexual interest in young girls at a Thai school, and oh, by the way, confessed to being with JonBenet when she died.  What was Lacy going to do, leave him in Thailand until all the I's were dotted and T's crossed? 

Here's the ever-irascible John Bolton, whom Bush slid under the U.N.'s door as our Ambassador when Congress was out of session, in his best imitation of Mark Twain's intelligence and wit.  Bolton's in the news today for venturing that "Unanimity is not necessary on Iran".  Sounds a lot like the run-up to the Iraq War, when 72 days after 9/11, Bush was quoted as asking Rumsfeld "What have you got in terms of plans for Iraq? What is the status of the war plan?"  As if I weren't worried enough, I had to listen to Michael Ledeen's spooky babble about how we Have To Do Something About Iran yesterday on Fresh Air.  Naturally, Ledeen works at the American Enterprise Institute and I could almost hear his eyes rolling wildly in his head like some kind of conservative Mad-Eye Moody.  He's not actually advocating invasion (yet), just spending a lot of money to convince those poor misguided Iranians to overthrow their despicable regime.  Maybe they would even put another Shah in place, like we did when we ousted an elected leader in 1953, helped (with the Mossad) to train the brutally effective Savak secret police, and generally reaped the benefits of a Middle East ally.  That's got to be a better plan than actually letting those Ay-Rabs elect their own leaders, which didn't work out so well in Lebanon and Palestine.  BTW, my favorite Iran quote this week is from Newt ("!'m Baaaack!") Gingrich, who said

"When the intelligence community says Iran is 5 to 10 years away from a nuclear weapon, I ask: 'If North Korea were to ship them a nuke tomorrow, how close would they be then?"

Why is he worried about Iran?  What if NK shipped a nuke to Belgium?  Can you imagine how uppity they would get all of a sudden after two centuries of having one neighbor or another run over them?  Or how about Iceland?  Or St. Kitts & Nevis?  God, what if OPRAH had the bomb?

The news about Lucia Perillo's Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award got me thinking about Ms. Perillo again.  I once clicked on her web page's button that says: Buy my book and diminish the supply in my storage locker.   She returned The Oldest Map with the Name America to me with a lovely note in a spidery hand.  Ms. Perillo was diagnosed in the 80's with multiple sclerosis, a condition about which she has written in The Body Mutinies.  I am often bewildered (and a little envious) when the MacArthur folks label somebody a genius and give them a half-million bucks.  In Ms. Perillo's case, it seems that somebody got it right.  Here's A Simple Campsong from Verse Daily.

It looks like a new APR just got thrown over the transom.  More on that tomorrow.

 

August 30, 2006

Veins, Glands, and Cartilages

I don't usually read Poets & Writers very carefully, but this issue had a lot of interesting material.  First up is an advertisement for the Dodge Poetry Festival with large type announcing poets like Billy Collins, Mark Doty, Gerald Stern and Ko Un and small type reminding you that Daisy Fried, Matthea Harvey, Natasha Trethewey, and Ona Gritz are apparently lesser lights, though it certainly seems like a coin-toss in some cases.  In case you don't know who Ko Un is either, he's a Korean Buddhist monk and poet who's supposedly published 120 books and tried committing suicide twice, apparently unsuccessfully.  There's a terrific article on Wave Book's Poetry Roadshow, detailing the impetus and players behind the 50-day roadshow.  The poetry marathon is increasingly popular, including the St. Mark's Poetry Project directed by Anselm Berrigan (remember Anselm, he comes up later).  Small Press Points features Seal Press, whose recently published Cunt: A Declaration of Independence was Jennifer Scalia's preferred reading material while she waited to testify in the Abu Ghraib trial.  Literary MagNet mentions Paris Review, McSweeney's, Iowa Review, and Speakeasy ... 3 of the 4 probably don't really need any more ink.  P&W interviews Donald Hall, the classic New Englander.  He manages to get through the entire interview without mentioning Jane, and cracked me up with his answer to the question "What are you most looking forward to about this appointment [to U.S. Poet Laureate]?", to which he answered "Probably the sale of my books".  Ken Gordon contributed The Posthumous Pickle that explores the ethical dimensions of publishing posthumously all the work that a writer withheld in his/her lifetime (and in at least one famous case, Kafka's, explicitly asked to be burned).  And, the first comprehensive article I've seen on Alice Notley, recently of Paris, formerly married to Ted Berrigan.  Her best line?  "I don't have a poetics.  I think that's bullshit."  Ryan Murphy is a very interesting dude:  he publishes "one-shot" chapbooks, hand-binding them and attributing the work to a made-up author, sometime male, sometimes female, that changes with every work (I love the title of the last one, "The Travelling Salesman Problem", a classic operations research topic).  Really good piece on T. Cooper and Adam Mansbach who have jointly produced A Fictional History of the United States With Huge Chunks Missing.  The ad for the U of NH MFA program has a natty guy holding a pitchfork and a book in front of a combine or something.  Full-page color ad for Saturnalia books, including blogmate Sabrina Orah Mark's Babies.  That's usually as far as I get as the rest of the magazine is Awards and Grants and Competitions and such, but it was interesting, too.  Anne Pierson Wiese won this year's Whitman for Floating City, judged by the mercurial and hugely funny Kay Ryan.  Here's a pair:  Bob Hicok and Donald Revell each won an APR award, the Jerome J. Shestack Poetry Prize (at some point, you have to wonder if they're making these names up).  Former MacArthur "genius" award winner (it's obligatory to surround genius with quotes) Lucia Perillo knocked down a hundred grand from the 14th annual Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award.  My favorite winner in this issue is Vanessa Haley who won the 2006 Dogwood Poetry Prize for her poem, "George Stubbs's 'Plate for the Sixth Anatomical Table of the Muscles, Fascias, Ligaments, Nerves, Arteries, Veins, Glands, and Cartilages of a Horse, Viewed in Front, Explained".  Hell, I have poems shorter than the title.  Anyway, the deadlines and submissions calendars and recent winner and such are all online, if you're interested. 

See you tomorrow.

August 27, 2006

Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang

I was out getting victuals for a staff meeting of A Certain Literary Journal to take place this afternoon when I spotted these sunflowers.  For the first five decades, I would have thought nothing of them, except that Der had the artistic instincts and presence of mind to pick a few and bring them to our last dinner get-together.  So, I drove home, found a pair of kitchen shears and a serviceable vase, and did the same.  We are apparently never too old to learn new tricks.  Meanwhile, Frank of the now famous Frank's Title Service was explaining to our poet's email loop how A Governor for Your Flippancy got its name.  In my one and only 5-day stint of poetry education, I was blessed to have Mary Jo Bang as the instructing poet.  Somewhere in the analysis of my work, she intimated that I needed to put the brakes on my impulse to wax whimsical in the middle of a poem.  This was duly communicated by means of daily reports to my poetry buddies, Frank included.  Thus spracht the muse that offered up the perfect title to a perfect poem.

The new Barrow Street is out (Summer 2006 issue) and looking mighty fine.  I would have been in this one, I think, but Do The Math was already taken and I had to decline their acceptance.  Isn't that the way it always goes?  Barrow Street is one of my sentimental favorites because they were the first decent litmag ever to take a poem of mine.  It was called Girl Gives Birth to Trilobite, and the first time I had ever used Frank's Title Service to spiff up that part of the poem.  After they accepted GGBTT, I submitted faithfully to them every 3 weeks until I got a letter pleading with me to stop the onslaught. 

One thing I like about Barrow Street is their mix of quirky, serious, conventional and PoMo offerings.  They always seem to have new names and faces bookending the Names I Know, who this time are Timothy Liu, Erin Belieu, Phillis Levin, and Jay Wright.  OKAY, the truth is I'm stalling for time.  I have the damned issue somewhere among the stacks of other books and journals, properly earmarked with the poems I liked.  I promise to replace this and the previous sentence with real commentary as soon as I find it.

I also received the latest Notre Dame Review this week, noting Michael Harper, Floyd Skloot, Brian Henry on the back page.  First up is our own prolific Seth Abramson, which is curious as the poems are not arranged alphabetically by author.  I always find Seth's work unhurried, articulate and intelligent, as in this from Moses Gets Central Air:  "... So it is done — /        a jetty for a playmate / a heap of crooning popinjays for a parasol, / the whole lot gleaned away, / on a tether of air, pinched from a cloud".  I like quite a few others, here's a sample:  John J. Ronan, Dying Aside ("... / Even as the news becomes fast fabric, the day / sly and subtle science coldly prognosed: dead as the dickens —  sooner than (your fervent hope) / much, much later. ..."), Jeff Schiff, Misery ("... / god's own faux crow /    picking and pulling at something/        it cannot see"), Wayne Miller, A History of War ("... / the men boiled leather for nutrients, / learned to eat rats / that had eaten their fallen.  And then / Our Side won on the widescreen T.V."), Michelle Detorie, Bibliomancy ("... / Sewn hips flossed with sex.  Sail-sex / lifted like a satin mast— sail blue"), Askold Skalsky, Recursive Gloom ("Boltzmann claimed time for everything / in a perpetual universe: improbable / configurations arise to interrupt / equilibria with the random jiggle / of atoms, iron pellets in a cosmic pot."), Anis Shivani, The Last Weeks of George Orwell ("... / When England next burns with missionary / zeal, lease the thumbed-up Bibles to football / hooligans, for they'll be charmed to carry / the queen's arms all the way to Albert Hall").  The next section is chock-a-block with poetry book reviews, including works by John Kinsella (Brian Henry reviewing), Roy Fisher (Peter Robinson reviewing), and an intriguing match-up of Dana Gioia's Nosferatu and Charles Bernstein's Shadowtime (Joe Francis Doerr reviewing).  Jayne E. Marek curiously groups Pattiann Rogers, Beth Ann Fennelly and Mary Jo Bang into one comparative review.  The deliciously outré and inventive MJB gets the nod as "the most creative and elliptical" of the three for her ekphrastic work, The Eye Like a Strange Balloon

August 24, 2006

Silkie

There are billions of galaxies with billions of stars in each.  But they only make up 5% of the mass of the universe.  The rest is dark energy and dark matter, the latter of which we have direct evidence of.  What is dark matter?  We don't know, but it may be a new collection of elementary particles, so far unobserved.  Is it all around us?  Probably.  What is dark energy?  We know even less.  Who first hypothesized the existence of dark matter?  Vera Rubin, a young astronomer who was rejected by Princeton in 1948 because women were not permitted in the graduate astronomy program.  I bet they feel really silly now.

Poor Pluto is no longer a planet.  It is still, however, Mickey's dog.  And what's up with a talking mouse having a non-talking dog for a pet.  And a talking dog for a friend?  Where's the plot consistency?

We have nothing to fear but fear itself
.  And perhaps all the politicians and security consultants who profit from our paranoia.  Junie sent me this article which, among other things, points out the improbability that TATP could have been successfully made on airplanes by the recent UK terrorists.

Here's some really great news.  After a lengthy and angst-filled period of manuscript judging by those of us on the committee, Many Mountains Moving is pleased to announce the winner of the 2006 Poetry Book Contest:  Anne-Marie Cusac for Silkie.  The Runner-up was Cynthia Arrieu-King for People are Tiny in Paintings of China.  Veronica Patterson was awarded an Honorable Mention for Close.  Finalists included Sheila Black, Lisa Lewis, and Renato Rosaldo.  Details on the contest and complete list of semi-finalists can be found here

Please note that MMM is also currently sponsoring Poetry and Flash Fiction contests.

~~~~


And NOW, a sampling from the Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book!

The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.  ¤  Veni, Vidi, Velcro — I came, I saw, I stuck around.  ¤  All those ballerinas on their tiptoes ... why don't they just get taller girls?  ¤  Why do they put Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATMs?  ¤   Did you hear about Ford recalling a bunch of Mercurys because they found traces of tuna in them?  ¤  Why do they call it tourist season if we can't shoot them?  ¤  If you eat pasta and antipasta, are you still hungry?

How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  10, one to screw it in and 9 to say "I could have done that".  ¤  How many pro-lifers?  6, two to screw it in and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.  ¤ How many surrealists?  2, one to hold the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.  ¤ How many Republicans?  86, twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old lightbulb, twenty-three to deregulate the lightbulb industry, and fifty-two to pass a tax credit for lightbulb changes.

Knock knock.  Who's there?  Control freak.  Now you say, "Control freak who?"  ¤  Did you hear about that new restaurant on the moon?  The food is great, but there's no atmosphere.   ¤   What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?  They have the same middle name.   ¤   Sven and Ole went hunting and Sven accidently shot Ole.  "Ole, I'm so sorry!," Sven said and rushed him to the hospital.  "Is he going to be OK?", Sven asked.  The doctor said, "His prospects would be better if you hadn't gutted him".   ¤  Why do Baptists object to fornication?  They're afraid it might lead to dancing.   ¤  This skeleton walks into a bar and says "Give me a beer and a mop".   ¤  René Descartes walks into a bar and sits on the closest stool.  The bartender asks him if he wants a drink.  "I think not", he says and promptly disappears.   ¤   Did you hear about the guy who had sex with his canary?  Now he's got an untweetable case of chirpies.   ¤ The CIA, FBI and NYPD are competing to see who is best at apprehending criminals.  A rabbit is released in the forest and each organization has to try to bring it in first.  The CIA places animal informants throughout the woods and hidden microphones in the tree, but after 3 months concludes that rabbits do not exist.  The FBI goes in.  After 2 weeks with no leads, they burn the forest and kill everything in it.  The NYPD goes in.  Two hours later a cop comes out holding a badly beaten bear by the ear.  The bear is yelling "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit".

August 23, 2006

Say Heart

Well, Alejandro is back in Spain and Junie is back in Wisconsin, and I've caught up with work and washed the laundry and slopped the hogs.  So, I guess I'm back.

Junie and I took Alejandro on a whirlwind tour of Denver, including a wander through Morrison and Red Rocks, culminating with a meal at The Fort.  It's a rebuilt replica of the "oldest adobe structure in the US" and was originally a trading post in the mid-1800's.  Now, it's a restaurant with the usual frontier-motif menu (elk, buffalo, quail, rattlesnake), all citified up with blueberry coulis and herb-sprinkled plates.  They claimed that all the meat was absent of hormones and the critters were all free-range (even the rattlers, which are acquired during a yearly roundup, if you can believe that).  Reminds me of a friend who used to say that the beef at Whole Foods was "lovingly chain-sawed". 

This rather creepy scene of miners in heaven (or something) is a mural on the ceiling of an archway in Lower Downtown Denver (or LoDo to Denverites).  I'd never been to LoDo (or in particular, Larimer Square) and I guess I expected it to be larger.  It seems to be about the size of Greater Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, just spread out a bit more and with a few more good restaurants.  It's really pretty incredible that I've been to Europe more times than I've been to Denver, but it's not that unusual for Boulderites to pass on the 30-mile drive to Our State Capital.  After LoDo, Junie, Alejandro and I visited the Museum of Natural History, which was pretty nice, if perhaps showing its age a bit.  I wasn't expecting the Musée d'Orsay, but many of the paleontological exhibits still had that breathless enthusiasm of the '60s (and THEN the trilobites exploded into every evolutionary niche!).  There was a side-show exhibit with mummy stuff (grave artifacts, coffins, a couple of real mummies) which I always get a kick out of, particularly the long spoon they used to scoop out the dear deceased's brains through his/her nose prior to The Big Journey.  Apparently, although the other main organs were either separately mummified or corked into canopic jars, the brain was thought to be something you can do without in the afterlife.  Kinda reminds you of the current administration.

I was happy to receive my buddy Frank's latest chapbook.  It's called There Is Nothing to Love about Los Angeles and available from Pudding House Publications.  Very good stuff.  My favorite recent poem of his leads off the collection:

A Governor for Your Flippancy

Say heart, say heart on your sleeve, say you become
    a better person every time you leave this room.

Say you once fell asleep in this chair. Say you dreamt
    the one you loved tried to reach out, and say you spent

half your life trying to call back. Admit you hated
    the work: start with yourself, start in this space, start

by pulling the curtains back and say heart, say palate,
    say purpose, say pith. Say you never cried. Admit you came

pretty damn close. Tell it to the moon, swear to God
    you are telling the truth. Say there are hundreds like you

who ache. Say crutch, say cane, say you cannot make it
    go away, admit you never had the strength. Feel the weight

on your sleeve. Say heart, say chamber, say one of four parts. Look at it
    under any light. Say match, say candle, say forty watts.


To tell you the truth, this poem gives me the shivers.  Go get the chap and see what the rest are like.

~~~~

Tomorrow:  The new Barrow Street and PHC Pretty Good Joke Book.

August 13, 2006

Unkennable

Have you ever read or heard a simple fact that you'd read or heard countless times, and stopped and considered what it meant and that you would only think you understood what it meant, that you would never actually ever grasp it?  Our galaxy is home to 200-400 billion stars, a few of them with solar systems, most without.  That means that every person on earth could have 30 stars to call their own.  Our galaxy is large beyond comprehension.  To get from one side to the other at the speed of light would take 100,000 years.  To get an idea how long that is, consider that Homo sapiens first colonized Eurasia and Oceania only 40,000 years ago, that recorded history in any sense is less than 10,000 years old.  Most scientists believe that we will never travel outside our galaxy.  Ever.  (we may be able to deploy quantum state separation or folded space or other wild phenomena to communicate or send small inorganic objects somewhere, but even that is doubtful).  The center of our galaxy is believed to contain a supermassive black hole that has already consumed millions, perhaps billions, of stars.  Of the hundreds of billions of stars that still remain, billions of them  hold planets within their gravitational grip.  Of these planets, millions of them could be have the properties (distance from their star, mass, composition) amenable to supporting life.  A couple of weeks ago I saw the Milky Way in a moonless sky and was considering the unthinkably vast nature of our galaxy.  Then the fact hit me:  there are another 100 billion galaxies in the universe.

What started me thinking about this was an attempt to acquaint myself with websites other than my own.  I started with my former blogroll and branched out and branched out.  I know there are more websites than I could visit in a lifetime, but every one seems so accessible, so immediate, that the illusion persists. 

The Gallery of Regrettable Food chronicles the history of unwise culinary choices and ludicrous cookbooks, like "When It's Strictly Stag", which recommends pistachio cordials to match the ties, coffee cups and salad of the 50's guy guests.  A gaggle of tiki-handled cups sits beside a casserole pan of beans that provide the leguminous base for a dozen erect hotdogs.  Fuck This Website is hosted by a photographer who made up stickers with the word "Fuck" in various sizes, applied them to dozens of signs around the city, and shot pics of the effect.  The resulting coffee table book made it to #6 on the LA Times Bestsellers List.  This site explains the rules of "Strip Chess".  How to kill termites with armies of nematodes.  Elephant polo in Thailand.  It's endless, really.

Luckily, the right part of my brain is still a poet.  It's trying to find new metaphors for the moon.  It knows that love is also unkennable.

August 11, 2006

Sponge Bag Bob

What do Ray DiPalma, Maxine Chernoff, G. C.Waldrep, Timothy Liu, Jenny Boully, Joshua Corey, Seth Abramson, Cathy Park Hong, Bob Hicok and I all have in common? We're contributors to the upcoming issue of Verse, along with dozens of other fine writers. It's a killer issue and available from Verse. A yearly subscription of three issues for $18 available here.

So Die Cloud and I are trading travel stories via email and wondering how long we've got before you have to board planes naked.  No carry-on, laptop, no lunchbag, no iPod, nothing with pockets.  Just a plane full of people sitting around in their underwear.  Which wouldn't bother me much, actually, I always read on airplanes.  In 30 years of flying, a lot of it foreign travel, I've read a boxcar full of trashy novels.  That's basically why I've read every murder mystery ever written.  Anyway, our idea is to get the contract for on-board sales.  For $35, you get a nice leather toiletry holder, what my Dad used to call a Dopp Kit and what they always call a "sponge bag" in English murder mysteries.  There will be a men's version in black and a woman's version in burgundy, and inside the kit you get tiny containers of shampoo, toothpaste, deoderant, a comb, toothbrush and Federally-approved nail clippers.  It will all be vetted by TSA and be wrapped in an official government band, not unlike those that housekeeping wraps around the toilet seat when they're finished with the bathroom.  The airline attendants will roll the cart down the aisle and make the sales (the airlines get a cut, of course).  And that's just the start.  We'll sell disposable Tyvek travel suits, bunny rabbit slippers, and adult coloring books, too.  Hey, this could be big.

One thing for sure, the Administration will start blathering about how this just proves that we should give up our Constitutional liberties in favor of unfettered intrusion.  This will be echoed by all the usual conservative outlets.  Here's the Washington Times:  "Can we all agree now on the necessity of uncompromised terrorist surveillance programs?"  BTW, does anybody actually buy The Times or get delivery?  I always thought this rag was just a Moonie excuse for right-wing inanity.  I suppose Reb or Deborah would know.

My buddy Alejandro is coming from Spain next week.  I still haven't figured out what fun stuff we can do, but Junie's flying in too, so we'll think of something.  The tail end of the Colorado Shakespeare Festival will still be running, which is always a good show.  Walking Pearl Street Mall is always good for an afternoon, and it's only an hour to Estes Park.  Maybe catch a poetry reading at The Laughing Goat.   Being a Boulder County kinda guy, it's pitiful how little I know about Denver (which is all of 40 miles away).  They must have museums and zoos and stuff, right? 

I received a comical phishing email today with the official logo of the Internal Revenue Service on it.  I followed the link to another official-looking webpage where I was supposed to enter my SSN and credit card details to "receive my refund".  I mean how lame is that?  Who refunds to a credit card?  I tracked the ISP down to someplace in Ukraine.  Those former Soviet bloc countries seem to specialize in this kind of thing. 

I heard on NPR this morning that there's a new angel character on Sesame Street.  Kyle used to love that show.  When we lived in Belgium, I'd read the Sesame Street books to him and do all the voices:  Big Bird, Oscar, Elmo, Bert & Ernie, Cookie Monster.  I did a particularly good Grover.  Kyle has turned out to be an first-class mimic, too.  Must run in the family.  Sesame Street is dubbed in lots of countries (in Germany, we watched Sesamstrasse) and locally produced in others.  It's called Galli Galli Sim Sim in India and Zhima Jie in China.  My favorite show name is France's 1, rue Sesame, which sounds like some kind of steamy soap opera.

You all have a nice weekend.

August 09, 2006

McWhorter's Magical Realism

I had to purchase a dozen of those small USB "keychain" storage drives this week to test on our USB driver.  They're also called mini-drives, flash drives, thumb drives, and a number of other things and it appears that there's no naming consensus on the horizon.  In case you haven't seen them, they are tiny (smaller than a lighter), hold lots of information, and are instantly recognized as an additional removable hard drive by Windows, Linux and Apple OS.  You just plug them into the USB port and start dragging and dropping (or just keep it plugged in and work directly off them).  I'm paying under $25 for off-brand 1 Gbyte versions now.  That's enough for thousands of pictures or MP3s or documents.  Derek is taking one to school in the fall to cart his various school assignments from his dorm computer to classroom computers.

I listened to John McWhorter talk on NPR about black America and how welfare did 'em wrong.  He's an "author and linguist", but also a senior fellow at the conservative Manhattan Institute (whose board of trustees includes Bill Kristol and Peggy Noonan) which advocates cuts in social welfare, expanded school voucher programs, deregulation of environmental and consumer protection, and lots of privatization (OK, that's how the People for the American Way describes them, anyway).  In their 25 year history, they have received all their money from exactly 11 foundations including Adolph Coor's Castle Rock Foundation, the Koch Family Foundations (owned by two billionaire Republican supporters and descendant of a cofounder of the John Birch Society), the Olin Foundation (same general credentials), and the Scaife Foundations, the rabidly right-wing non-profit that has founded and/or funded The Heritage Foundation, The American Enterprise Institute, The Hudson Institute, and the Cato Institute.  OK, now you have an idea of the company Mr. McWhorter keeps.  Underneath the smooth presentation and attempts to appear as a moderate ("[my idea is not] a drive-time, right-wing talk show idea that black people just need to shape up").  He had a lot of opinions about personal responsibility and his pet topic, therapeutic alienation, which is (hold your breath) alienation unconnected to, or vastly disproportionate to, real-life stimulus, but maintained because it reinforces one's sense of psychological legitimacy, via defining oneself against an oppressor characterized as eternally depraved.  He had me listening until he started hammering away at how bad the 60's were and particularly welfare reform.   In fact, things were much better in the 1920's and 1930's for black folk!   Like that old darling Hermann Goering and culture, when I hear a conservative extolling the virtues of the past, I just want to go for my gun.  You know, the 1920's when millions of blacks were sharecroppers and one step above slavery, when lynching black men was a regular event, when poll taxes prevented blacks from voting, when anti-miscegenation laws were on the books in 20 states, when . . . oh, you get the picture.  Here's a direct quote from his article:  "If the four hundred-plus years of black American history from the early 1600s to 2006 were compressed into twenty-four hours, something went seriously wrong only at about ten o'clock p.m.Only at about ten o'clock p.m.?  Seriously?  Mr. McWhorter is, of course, a black man.  Even the right-wing isn't crazy enough to let a white dude say this kind of stuff.

Now, about The Atlantic:  In the letters to the editor, Ray Jurak complains that the WWII carpet bombing of Germany was mainly accidental.  Benjamin Schwarz correctly points out that 75% of the bombing took place in the in the final year, much of it in broad daylight, most of it on targets with no military or industrial value.  It was simply revenge (mostly by the Brits) and a large fraction of a million German civilians lost their lives to we would now consider a war crime.  Gregg Easterbrook (a very eloquent and frequent contributing journalist) says that global warming seems unstoppable because, well, we haven't really tried to stop it, have we?  (I am reminded that President Bush's rationale for nixing the Kyoto Protocol was that it would cost the US hundreds of billions of dollars, just about what Iraq has cost us).  There's an absolutely fascinating piece called The Height of Inequality, which reenacts economist Jan Pen's model for wealth distribution:  have the entire country walk by you on parade, single-file, in exactly one hour, and each person's height is proportional to their income.  If you do that, a lot of short people walk by for 15 minutes and then they get taller very slowly until the last 6 minutes.  Then, people get taller really, really fast.  In the final 30 seconds or so, you are dwarfed by people hundreds of feet tall.  The reason for this is that income distribution is getting more and more skewed every year.  Consider that in the past 40 years, the median income has risen only 11% (adjusted for inflation).  But for the top 10% of wage earners, it's up 58%.  And for the top 1% of wage earners, make that up 121%.  The top 1/10th of one percent is up 236% and the top 1/100th of one percent is up 617%.  Now, we're only talking about wage income here, not income from investments, which is where rich people make most of their dough (for example, Bill Gates got a $3 billion bonus a couple of years back, but it was a dividend and doesn't count here).  In any event, the author attributes the income disparity rise to two things:  celebrities and CEOs.  The average income of the tippy-top category is about $5 million, which is frankly chicken-feed to those who also get investment income.  And, when I think about celebrities, yeah, Oprah might make $200 million in a year, but $30 million is very good pickings for the A-List in Hollywood. The B-List is a fraction of that, and there aren't that many of them.  Then, there's the sports figures ... the average MLB player might make $2 million and there are, what, 750 of them?  1,500 NFL players averaging half that?  350 NBA players averaging $5 million and 350 NHL players making a third of that?  You're still talking about only half of the 13,000 people in the top 1/10th of 1%.  Most of the rest are corporate executives, whose income has risen dramatically in the past 20 years, a lot more than what they get paid in Europe and WAY past what they get paid in the rest of the world.  Entertainment figures get paid because people show up at games, subscribe to cable, and go to movies.  CEOs get 20% raises, even in years when their stock is down and income sliding, because their brother-in-law is on The Board.  Consider the ratio of average worker salary to CEO salary, which for fairly large companies is now about 250-to-1.  That's the highest in history.  Here's another number:  productivity has sky-rocketed in the past 30 years — that's the increase in good and services per worker.  How much of that gain has gone to Average Joe?  Almost nothing, and I quote: "Between 1966 and 2001, only 10 percent of American workers saw their incomes rise as least as fast as economy-wide productivity did."  What's up with that tide nowadays?  It doesn't seem to be raising all boats equally, preferring the boats with rare watercolors in the cabins, a standing crew of 8, on-board chef and masseuse.  Other articles:  Rudy Guiliani has learned how to speak "evangelese" for his upcoming Prez bid.  Michael Chertoff (kinda) admits that the Department of Homeland Security is a massive clusterfuck, but reminds us that the Department of Defense was pretty screwed up during it's 1950's reorganization. 

The most important article this month is by that Atlantic old-timer, James Fallows.  His article, Declaring Victory, has as its premise: WTF?  We did all the right stuff and then all the wrong stuff, so let's go backtrack to the former.  In other words, within one year of 9/11, we put in place all the surveillance, funds transfer controls, immigration and visa checking, expanded human intelligence and targeted military intervention to put al-Qaeda seriously on the run.  They can't talk on cell-phones, they can't transfer money to cells, they can't run any kind of decent websites, they can't even find a sizable cave with central heating.  What have we done wrong in the period since mid-2002?  We've wasted untold lives, money, prestige and credibility doing the wrong things.  This is not just Mr. Fallows' opinion, he interviewed dozen of experts among the military, diplomatic and intelligence community.  In an interesting interview, Caleb Carr, author and historian, says that al-Quaeda has devolved from an organization to a philosophy, which is not good news to OBL.  Fallows' message is that America can do substantially more damage to itself by overreaction than the terrorist could ever do, and it's time to "say the War on Terror is over".  Yeah, like that's gonna happen.  What do you think has justified the rampant expansion of powers and Constitutional transgressions of the Executive Branch in the past 5 years?  Diverting piece displaying Presidential Doodles (JFK's are repeated copies of "Vietnam" inside rectangles, Reagan's are cartoons of himself in various macho roles).  OK article on the Air Force guys who pilot Predator drones over Iraq from their cubicles in Las Vegas.  Also good piece on Wikipedia, its unlikely beginning and astounding growth.   One fast-growing business sector is the Billionaire Service Industry, where you charge lots of money to make the life of the very wealthy imperturbable (finding dressage horses for the youngest, decorating the Aspen ski chalet, arranging for quickie cosmetic surgery).  The Critics waxes well on Orson Welles, who made $1000 a week at the age of 19 broadcasting, directs a Broadway show at 21, terrifies the country with his War of the Worlds segment at 23, and begins Citizen Kane at the ripe old age of 25 (on arriving in LA, one quip says "There, but for the grace of God, goes God").  The next four decades is downhill, amazingly, though OW made plenty of money in voice-overs.  I missed him by 30 minutes about 30 years ago when I was helping computerize Watermark Studios, where he was doing a commercial for the Beef Council or something.  I did, however, meet Casey Kasem a number of times as he strolled in to do "American Top 40 Countdown."  The last art piece is on Erica Jong and her "stunning self-absortion".  I read Fear of Flying about the same time that I first read One Hundred Years of Solitude, which coincidentally I am re-reading this week.  Very good stuff.  I don't think I was ready for Magical Realism 25 years ago, but now I'm like totally, you know?

August 08, 2006

Possums in Pajamas

New weirdness as linked to from Wonkette:  hot Israeli women in the IDF (don't bother clicking forward or back as he appears to be a 'winger of the PajamasMedia variety); Lindsay Lohan intends to visit Iraq after taking shooting lessons (presumably sans Herbie); Ft. Belvoir (in Northern VA, and where my dad was posted twice) might open a military theme park; state and local agencies are about a third of a trillion dollars short in funds to pay pensions and benefits; another Bush appointee, the director of the ATF, is resigning just ahead of revelations that he spent $300,000 decorating his office; beleaguered U.S. Senate candidate Katherine Harris (yes, that Harris, the one who helped the Bushies in Florida in 2000) finds another campaign worker quits, this time a possum.  Condi says that a U.S invasion of Cuba is "far-fetched" (that should make them feel better).

I was going to tell you about The Atlantic, which is a terrific issue this month.  Well, actually, not this month, as they combined the July and August issues into a sort of conjoined twin thing and I've got the September issue in my hands.  You know, delivered on August 6th.  What's up with the tendency of mainstream mags to ship an issue a month ahead of the masthead date?  I mean, with poetry litmags, we're lucky to get the "Fall 2005" issue actually in our hands before champers, balloons, and the Times Square Ball-dropping. Well, I'll tell you about the poetry.  Basically, it sucks speaks to the June Cleaver in all of us.  Suzanne Cleary pens Little Hat ("Forty years in a round box, a nest of tissue paper, / magenta velvet toque, your tasteful feather / a moiré of navy and green ...").  OK, standard caveat:  If I meet Ms. Cleary at AWP and really like her, I might take this all back.   Also, Galway Kinnell with Everyone Was In Love, which starts with "One day, when they were little, Maud and Fergus / appeared in the doorway, naked and mirthful, / with a dozen long garter snakes draped over / each of them like brand-new clothes" and ends very, very strangely with "Perhaps thinking I might be considering rescue, / Maud said, "Don't Frog is already elsewhere".  I don't have to meet Kinnell at AWP, I already love a large number of poems he's written, but I have to admit I don't ken what he's trying to do here, much less why the frog is elsewhere.  Maybe St. Elsewhere?  Please use the comment box to clue me in.  In any event, that's all the poetry.  We're luck there's any poetry, as The Atlantic has gotten rid of The Puzzler and will probably be off-shoring the fiction pieces soon.  Even the Word Court has collapsed into middle-brow lameness.  Suzanne Staszak-Silva of Scotch Plains, NJ writes to ask if her husband is correct in believing that landline is derived from LAN line, a Voice-Over-IP kinda thing.  Christ, does all of America acquire their knowledge from Fox shows?

Anyway, that's all the bitching.  The rest of The Atlantic is killerbee and you'll hear about it tomorrow.

August 07, 2006

A Pot of Humuhumunukunukuapua’a

In case you're curious what the color "Happenstance" looks like, it looks like that slate blue in my bathroom.  The fish watercolors I got in Hawaii, by the way.  The one on the top is a Humuhumunukunukuapua’a, about which Rachel once wrote a poem.

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... And, in case you haven't heard, there's two bit of news about BP, the oil giant: 

The first is that their second-quarter profits exceeded $7 billion, a record for BP and in the top 5 profitable quarters for any company on the planet in the history of the world (all the rest were oil companies, too). 

Second, apparently not enough of those profits have been used over the years to maintain their 30-year old pipelines in Prudhoe Bay, a facility that was never engineered to last even this long.  As a result, the largest source of US crude production will be shut down for weeks (or months, nobody knows yet).  Crude oil futures jumped another $2 a barrel, rewarding BP for their behavior.

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Ricki Lee Jones, whom I love to pieces, participated in a recording for Blue America.

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Happy birthday to Ron, who started his 7th decade on Saturday.  In another story, the universe has been lying about its age again.

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Almost every institution with whom I share a financial relationship is online:  banks, credit card companies, insurance firms, mortgage companies.  The only one that isn't is the IRS.  Why can't we log in and print out return from 4 years ago, or see how we're doing on the payment plan they accepted for last year's tax bill, or even get a link to our current standing in Social Security?

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I was looking for poker on Dish, and ran across an entertainment segment mentioning that Ric Ocasek, the most-time vocalist and songwriter for the Cars, had been married to supermodel Paulina Porizkova for 20 years.  I was about to load the car live into the DVD player, by wild coincidence.  It was shot in 1979 in Germany and even without the studio effects is seriously bad.  Ric's most recent appearance on national TV was on The Colbert Report when he "volunteered to lead a commando mission to rescue Stephen Jr., the baby eagle at the San Francisco Zoo named after Stephen Colbert."  Der had to listen to Heartbeat City all the way through Nebraska on our last drive to Columbia College.  There are worst things to endure.

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I got an email today announcing "the biggest literary event in 2006", which of course caught my eye.  It's the Wave Books Poetry Bus Tour, stopping in 50 cities, which means it might actually get near the culture-starved Rockies.  I saw that Adam Clay is participating, and the website states that (gasp) Dean Young, Richard Siken, Arthur Sze, Matthew Rohrer, Noelle Kocot, Cole Swensen, James Tate and many other poets are in the mix.  The venues include "bookstores, galleries, clubs, prisons and schools".  Prisons.  Shades of Johnny Cash.

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The Oregon Republican Party has a plank in their party platform that would strip US-born children of citizenship if their parents are non-citizen immigrants, even legal immigrants.  It was a really keen idea, and probably would have taken off like anti-gay marriage initiatives, except that it violates the 14th Amendment.

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The role of the Executive Branch is to investigate and combat "all tendencies dangerous to the State." It has the authority to investigate treason, espionage and sabotage cases, and cases of criminal attacks on the Republican Party and on America.  The law has been changed in such a way that the Executive Branch actions are not subject to judicial review. Jurist Harriet Miers stated, "As long as the [Executive Branch] ... carries out the will of the leadership, it is acting legally." The Executive Branch is specifically exempted from responsibility to administrative courts, where citizens normally can sue the state to conform to laws.  The power of the Executive Branch most open to misuse is "protective custody" — a euphemism for the power to imprison people without judicial proceedings, typically in concentration camps.

This is from the original Wikipedia article, except that I changed the tense and substituted "Executive Branch" for "Gestapo", "Republican" for "Nazi", "America" for "Germany", and "Harriet Miers" for "Dr. Werner Best".

August 05, 2006

It's All About Becky

It's August and I'm wondering if I should turn WS back into a Fully Operational Battle Station.  You know, blogroll, trackbacks, links to litmags, Flash-based email icon, streaming video webcam of my study.  It's been wonderful being my own low-maintenance alter ego, but I somehow feel like I'm violating The Code.

I snuck over to Reb's joint (love the new shades) and followed a link like the old days to Mr. or Ms. Prisoner-In-A-Croissant-Factory-And-Loving-It, who seems way too tuned in to be just anybody, but I haven't figured out just which somebody yet.  I am completely mesmerized by the yellow abbreviations, which I stared at for a full minute before figuring out what they might be.  I'm a puzzle lover by nature, of course, so I didn't really want to know too quickly what I was looking at.  Anyway, it got me to thinking about people whose blog I would like to read if they had one.  The top of my list would be Dean Young, Bob Hicok and Albert Goldbarth.  They're all too famous at this point to actually have blogs, I suppose, and AG hasn't touched a computer his entire life, so that's out.  These gentlemen come to mind because I sent copies of their recent poetry books off with Derek, who is accompanying Kyle and Cath to the outer banks of North Carolina.  The last time I was there was in the '60's and there was simply no there there.  My dad pulled the station wagon up onto a sand dune and we popped a big tent around a campfire we built of driftwood.  An hour after dark, we noticed a million tiny eyes reflecting the light of the fire, circling our encampment.  My dad, a two-war veteran and no wimp, took a flashlight and came back with a small crab in his grip, one of the countless number just outside our lighted circle.  The entire family slept in the car, the children stacked like cordwood in the wayback.  Things are a lot different now.

I only just noticed that my comments are working.  My apologies to those whom I have inadvertently been ignoring.  I wonder how the curry recipe worked out for Rebecca.  Speaking of Ms. Radish King, her always fascinating photos are available on flickr.  You can also see the Dance of the Radish King here, though I doubt that it's officially sanctioned by Loudon Enterprises.

I also just noticed that Outlook 2003 has increased the size of their PST files to 20GB.  As I run out of folder room every 3-6 months, I'm very happy about that.  The reason I run out is that I never delete any emails, even the ones I send.  That means that all the emails, and particularly the attachments, get scrunched up into the PST file until it runs out of room.  If you use Netscape or Eudora or some other email client, you may not have this problem.  If not, you can look into getting an "OEM" version of Outlook 2003, which are sold by various companies all over the Internet.  Actually, you seem to be able to get most major software products (Adobe Illustrator, MS Office, ) from online retailers at 60% savings for legitimate software, and 90-95% savings from less-than-legitimate vendors.  I'm not suggesting that you do the latter, of course.  After all, I make my living from software.

I wonder how many of you have recently started getting penny-stock spam.  I mentioned it to Der and he said he had just started getting a lot of it, too.  The emails are recommendations for small companies whose stock sells generally under a dollar a share.  There are a number of penny-stock promoters who make it a business of buying up loads of very small companies' stock, then hiring a spam-generating firm to swamp the Internet with buy recommendations, causing the price to rise as the promoters are selling off their (generally worthless) holdings.  You are usually advised to "watch this one like a hawk!" and that "this one could go up, up and away!"  The body of the email is an image of the promotion text (that escapes many spam filters) followed by a couple of paragraphs of seemingly harmless, but nonsensical, prose.  A recent example of the latter is "Two fourlane slots eightlane I/O DSP Fibre DDR Gigabit Ethernet customize workflow track consume raises editing AJA thrilled Kona".  Anyway, one guy was so intrigued with stock spam that he started tracking the profits (well, actually, losses) he would have made had he purchased 1,000 shares of every penny stock that come recommended in email.  A small handful actually went up but the majority ended up as partial or total losses.  Everyone needs a hobby, I suppose.  It can't be more arcane than tracking poetry statistics, for example.  In any event, if you are bound and determined to buy stock on the Internet, consider Radish King.

I've stumbled over a few interesting poetry sites recently.  One was Kate Greenstreet's Every Other Day, which has short interviews with authors with their first poetry books (Rebecca is interviewed there, too.)

Hmm.  This post seems to be obsessed with Rebecca.  The Albert Hitchcock movie.  The magazine.  The TV gardener.  The graphic artist.  Did I mention that Kyle was going to be a Rebecca, had he ended up of the XX persuasion?

August 03, 2006

A Rose Is A Rose Is

There was a time when getting an article in the Communications of the ACM would have thrilled me even more than the prospect of landing a spot in Paris Review would today.  Communications is the flagship journal of the Association of Computing Machinery, and the articles can range over the entire spectrum of the computing sciences as the ACM has specialized journals for each specialty (e.g., The ACM journal for Evolutionary Computation).  Interesting items in this months Communications includes:  A company has sold a number of ShoeScanners to airports, a device which can detect explosives in shoes within 8 seconds;  WiFi access on airlines should be available by 2007, at a cost of about $10;  several cities are planning to obtain GPS data from commercial vehicles to anticipate and react to pending traffic jams; Nike has announced the Air Zoom, which will send data about distance, pace, time and calories expended via Bluetooth to your iPod Nano;  researchers find that most "disk wiper" programs wouldn't clean up enough to eliminate forensic evidence;  a British company has a product that lets your cell phone "listen" to a part of an MP3 or ringtone and identifies it so you can buy it for yourself;  new software is very good at listening to music and producing scores;  lots of research is underway in the development of systems that associate biometric data acquired at your computer (via fingerprints or iris scans) with marketing data.

The Academy of American Poets kindly sent me a copy of the latest Whitman Award winner, Mary Rose O'Reilley's Half Wild.  One thing that I've noticed over the years is the degree to which the winners of the Whitman echo the aesthetic sensibilities of that year's judge.  And why not, I suppose, a judge gets only one shot to encourage a specific type of artistic expression in a competition as prestigious as the Whitman.  In any event, I think if you had a list which included, for example, Henri Cole, C. D. Wright, Susan Howe, Jorie Graham, Robert Pinsky and Yusef Komunyakaa, and then were given the inner pages of 6 Whitman winners, most poets could connect the dots.   No less so with Ms. O'Reilley's work, which has much of the soft, serious, spiritual/pastoral, mainly plainspoken overtones of Mary Oliver's work, this year's judge.  O'Reilly is an English professor at the University of St. Thomas, a Catholic university in the Twin Cities.  She professes to be active in the Quaker ministry and a lay practitioner of Buddhist precepts.  A quick Google gives you links to reviews by Spirituality Practice, quakerbooks.org, and spiritualityhealth.com, which should give you a hint.  Her picture on the back of the book, cable-knit sweater, kind but serious visage, about my age I would guess, strikes me as an unpretentious poet's photo, a nice lady who is probably someone's favorite aunt.  Ms. O'Reilley has written 5 previous books of essays (but none of poetry), and the credits for the poems in this book are rather thin.  Not to worry, though, the work in this book is engaging and readable.  One thing that I like about it is that there are almost 60 poems in 60 pages.  Like me, here's a gal who knows how to get in and get out.  Even at a page apiece, the poems tend to be short, sometimes only a couple of words per line and often leaving a lot of white space below the close.  This isn't really my most favorite kind of verse, but I'll give you an idea of some of the ones I liked:

Scenes of the Crimes Photos:  "I know / the trajectory / of this crumpled doll / to the bathroom floor".

L'Enfant sauvage :  "The men who came to see / the wild boy in his cage / had groomed themselves / as carefully as chimps. / They wore their wives / upon their arms / like guns."

Abandoned Farmhouse :  " .. // The house has no will this winter / to cover her face from the wind / ..."

The Gods Keep Descending:  "Just carrying in the groceries / you can lose everything."

Home Farm:  "After some time / blackberry vines gather / around your table."

We Keep Asking the Prairie:  "I'm drawn into the clearing, / a remnant prairie skirted in oaks / now in their brown season."

Bees in Autumn:  "..// At this season, the bees seem old, / solving as though on thick limbs / the problem of chicory. ..."

Driving West:  "Books lean / from their shelves / like children wanting to get in the car,"

Speaking in Tongues:  "I go to church every Sunday / though I don't believe a word of it,"

There are poems that seem, well, unredeemable sappy ("Listen — I've seen / wind stir the hair of the dead at Belsen").  There is rampant anthropomorphism: wildlife, livestock, even stones.  There is a Lot of Romantic Notions about exotic climes, peoples and situations.  There are times when I wish the language was more down to earth ("Sometimes I don't know whether I'm dreaming my dreams / or yours, or just leaning back quiescent"), and places where I wish Ms. O'Reilley had not succumbed to the temptation to explain everything for us (e.g. "Crows fly over the scholar's garden. / He wants them to be ravens,"   OK, so far so good, then:  "longs to see the thick beak and the intelligent eye, a bird poised for conversation").  I'm sure that Ms. O'Reilley is probably a good writer, someone who can turn a phrase and keep me engaged.  But, I expect more from a poet — I want to be part of the dialogue, to watch the poet stop short so that I can finish the sentence with my own wild imagination.  Not every poet does, of course, and that is what makes horse races.

A propos of nothing, I was listening to an interview of Robin Williams on Fresh Air.  I can't be the only one on the planet who wishes that he would stop after he has been funny for 15 seconds, and shut the f*ck up, because he's not funny for the next 15 seconds, he's that hammer in the old Excedrin commercials.  Which is what I meant about poetry in the review above.  Not everybody can be Dean Young, but there's no reason we can't keep on trying.

By the way, I cheated and looked in on Joshua Clover's blog, another Whitman winner.  Christ, he's still brilliant.  It makes me want to break my summer vows and check in with all the insanely talented people on my prior blogroll.  It's such a slippery slope.  I'd start blogwalking.  And caring about how Rebecca is doing with her music and Art.  And whether Eduardo is keeping up his end of his joint blog.  And whether Jimmy has exceeded his prior limits of cartoonish outrageousness.  And how Jordan keeps finding engaging 320x240 shots of The City.  You know, sucked into the vortex again.

See you soon.